I got my car bashed into last week. Was a bit of a pain as it is technically undriveable now, though thankfully no-one was hurt and they accepted full responsibility. I opted to get the coach back to Bristol and make-do without, but when I found out it was going to take 2 weeks from now to get fixed I decided to take them up on the free courtesy car that I was entitled to. I was lead to believe it would be some kind of Clio - which would be fine but not my first choice.
Now today, back in London, I have been at an all-day staff meeting that really reminded me just how dire the situation with our nations youth is. How much needs doing, how very impossible a solution is without God and that even with Him there is a long and difficult road ahead. It wasn't a bad meeting but I was well aware of the challenge and, getting the train to my parents house where I would collect the rental car and spend the night, I felt more than a little overwhelmed. My faith is not that high right now, my hope fluctuates. Perseverance is important but it doesn't automatically change how I feel.
My (dear) father then (very kindly) picked me up from the station and as we drove home I asked about the car. What colour is it? Black he replies. What make? A Honda.
HONDA!
I love Hondas! :-D
Why? Because they make the Best Adverts Ever.
I found myself singing the theme tune "hate something, change something, hate something change something make something better" this summer because it sounded a little bit like the Sellotape of Love song I was obsessed with a coupla months back. It reminded me of my love for these cars (it's all about the effective marketing!) and I had privately wanted one as my temporary ride but didn't even voice the desire because I knew I had no choice and it would have been a very unlikely option.
So without further ado, some of the Best Adverts Ever are to follow, and you will see just how prophetic they are and how encouraged I have been in my hour of feeling overwhelmed by the shit world.
When you see something you hate, the passion can be turned to good use:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwRCBHhyrAA&feature=related
(Check out the rainbows!)
We have to dream the impossible dream though:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kE7x8DV4TE&NR=1&feature=fvwp
Note the way the modus operandum changes on the journey... always providing what is required for the terrain.
Remember, it's actually a lot of fun... but needs to be done as a united TEAM:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pX68etceWNE&feature=related
The coordination and precision has got to be spot on. Impossibly perfect in fact, unless they are carefully laid out by a Very Good orchestrator:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2VCfOC69jc&feature=related
When it comes down to it. What's the point in a dream that you don't see come true?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jH8U40jKNAI&feature=related
Dream on! Even when hope is low.
A pertinent verse for me of late has been this:
"I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
Have some of that...
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Not so cynical
I was a bit grumpy last time wasn't I?! I'm thinking about/trying not to be so cynical. There is a subtle difference between "keeping it real" and "being a miserable cow" that can't really be identified analytically but most people can sense (like trying to measure body heat with clos when you can just ask if they're comfy). I sense that I was being my "other me" then.
This "other me" thing is what I'm gonna write about tonight. I don't really have the time to craft a perfect blog post but I've really missed writing and have got about half an hour to spare this evening before I travel across London (where I work) and get a late night bus back to Bristol (where I live). So you get a bit of what I've been thinking about with no attempted at precision or clarity.
'A job?' I hear you say. I do believe I haven't mentioned it but one of the reasons I don't write much at the moment is that I started working! I know, someone gave me a job?!? It isn't as drastic as traveling 6 hours everyday but I am still based in Brizzle whilst coordinating the education programme for a charity in London. We work to try and change the circumstances of young Afro-Caribbean boys from a deprived borough in the east, who are identified at being at risk of social exclusion. They show "leadership potential" just not in very constructive ways... IT'S HARD. It's heart-wrenching too.
I'm not so crass as to say 'They got it so bad it makes me rethink'. We can all be "justifiably" (well, by some definitions) cynical about stuff in our lives. The main thing I am thinking about is how we have these two sides: the one-that-wants-to-do-well and the one-that-wants-to-fuck-the-other-one-up. Here in this place I have met perfect examples of those who know what is best and are desperate to succeed, yet still repeatedly interact with the world in destructive ways - sometimes moments after they express willingness and longing. Wow, Romans: 7 21-24 never was more real to me:
I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?
I mean, don't get me wrong I see it in my own heart all the time but to witness it in action with things that might be "obvious" or "easy" really rams that home. I was talking to them today about the "other side" of human nature and I tells you what, dese youts really get it a lot better than some of the more educated people I know. They've experienced that hold on them... they understand how they have the responsibility to choose the right path, because they've struggled so hard to stay on it.
I see the little ones, some of whom haven't learned the difference between right and wrong. If anyone comes in with any post-modern bullshit that says there is only convention I'd be tempted to punch them - when it comes down to it they need deep rooted, real morality. How long will these boys last not discipline or loved? How can society cope having taken such little responsibility for their young? All of their young. Collectively.
But I can't be so cynical even here, where the dark-side of humanity is so evident (and I don't mean in the kids... or in their skin colour!). They're just so darn cute. Today several of the primaries asked me if I was wearing a wig - I never realised straightening my hair makes that much difference! There is such a light alternative, a bright loving vibrancy that kids personify so well when they want to. It's the stereotype that, to them, the world is black and white. I think perhaps they may have a point... we just mess it up as we get older by compromising our characters and allow the grey of corruption to be the norm.
I will write at further length about this whole "two-sided heart" thing I reckon, 'cause I've been so struck by it myself in recent months. It feels like the message of the moment...
The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armour of right living.
That's what Miss Love and I read this morning. I wonder how many clos the shining armour of right living measures...?
The question of 'How?' still hangs around though. How can we not be shit? How can I lose the cynicism and keep a hold of that uncompromised shiny suit vision? I will write more... got a bus to catch...
This "other me" thing is what I'm gonna write about tonight. I don't really have the time to craft a perfect blog post but I've really missed writing and have got about half an hour to spare this evening before I travel across London (where I work) and get a late night bus back to Bristol (where I live). So you get a bit of what I've been thinking about with no attempted at precision or clarity.
'A job?' I hear you say. I do believe I haven't mentioned it but one of the reasons I don't write much at the moment is that I started working! I know, someone gave me a job?!? It isn't as drastic as traveling 6 hours everyday but I am still based in Brizzle whilst coordinating the education programme for a charity in London. We work to try and change the circumstances of young Afro-Caribbean boys from a deprived borough in the east, who are identified at being at risk of social exclusion. They show "leadership potential" just not in very constructive ways... IT'S HARD. It's heart-wrenching too.
I'm not so crass as to say 'They got it so bad it makes me rethink'. We can all be "justifiably" (well, by some definitions) cynical about stuff in our lives. The main thing I am thinking about is how we have these two sides: the one-that-wants-to-do-well and the one-that-wants-to-fuck-the-other-one-up. Here in this place I have met perfect examples of those who know what is best and are desperate to succeed, yet still repeatedly interact with the world in destructive ways - sometimes moments after they express willingness and longing. Wow, Romans: 7 21-24 never was more real to me:
I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?
I mean, don't get me wrong I see it in my own heart all the time but to witness it in action with things that might be "obvious" or "easy" really rams that home. I was talking to them today about the "other side" of human nature and I tells you what, dese youts really get it a lot better than some of the more educated people I know. They've experienced that hold on them... they understand how they have the responsibility to choose the right path, because they've struggled so hard to stay on it.
I see the little ones, some of whom haven't learned the difference between right and wrong. If anyone comes in with any post-modern bullshit that says there is only convention I'd be tempted to punch them - when it comes down to it they need deep rooted, real morality. How long will these boys last not discipline or loved? How can society cope having taken such little responsibility for their young? All of their young. Collectively.
But I can't be so cynical even here, where the dark-side of humanity is so evident (and I don't mean in the kids... or in their skin colour!). They're just so darn cute. Today several of the primaries asked me if I was wearing a wig - I never realised straightening my hair makes that much difference! There is such a light alternative, a bright loving vibrancy that kids personify so well when they want to. It's the stereotype that, to them, the world is black and white. I think perhaps they may have a point... we just mess it up as we get older by compromising our characters and allow the grey of corruption to be the norm.
I will write at further length about this whole "two-sided heart" thing I reckon, 'cause I've been so struck by it myself in recent months. It feels like the message of the moment...
The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armour of right living.
That's what Miss Love and I read this morning. I wonder how many clos the shining armour of right living measures...?
The question of 'How?' still hangs around though. How can we not be shit? How can I lose the cynicism and keep a hold of that uncompromised shiny suit vision? I will write more... got a bus to catch...
Friday, October 2, 2009
Refresher
I went to freshers' fair today in Bristol. I am sort of vaguely, semi-intentionally, not yet fully decidedly how, doing some kind of student ministry this year. That could look like just about anything and I also have a part time job in London (did I mention?) that I've been doing for about a month thus far, so fitting it all in is a bit fun. But it does feel right, so long as I do it how God says to. Which, by the way, is a big 'if'.
Anyway. I went to see what was going on and to look for a feminist society - which I found and joined - 'cause I am kinda keen on female identity issues and thought they would be interesting to get to know. A few other things too, including the Russian Society - 'cause I am learning to speak that, and the Afro-Caribbean society - 'cause I want to learn to dance properly. I can say that 'cause I work with black people so I'm down wid it. It's not racism, it's International Banter.
I hate freshers' fair. It's like life. Far too busy; can't work out where lots of the stuff is that you wanna do and even if you know where they are, getting to them - through the crowds and broken/switched off lifts and general distractions and blockages - is bloody tough; too much choice and fun looking things that you know you don't have time for; necessary to engage with to get connected and make the most of the opportunity you've been presented with but still a lot of effort and doesn't really feel worth it at the time.
Yes. That is today's analogy. I wish I could stay in bed and watch box-sets every day but it turns out there is a lot going on. I'm trying to slow down - I don't want to burn out before I've even completed my recovery from last time.
Perhaps as I begin the rest of my life, like with actual university, I'll get to repeat my first year. Then take a break part way... scrape through to the end with an ok but not very good result... and curl up in a ball and die, wishing I'd made wiser choices with how to get the most out of my time there.
That doesn't actually sound like much fun. But I forgot to borrow season 1 (new) Doctor Who off of Luke so it seems my only plan thus far.
Sigh. I think I need a holiday.
Anyway. I went to see what was going on and to look for a feminist society - which I found and joined - 'cause I am kinda keen on female identity issues and thought they would be interesting to get to know. A few other things too, including the Russian Society - 'cause I am learning to speak that, and the Afro-Caribbean society - 'cause I want to learn to dance properly. I can say that 'cause I work with black people so I'm down wid it. It's not racism, it's International Banter.
I hate freshers' fair. It's like life. Far too busy; can't work out where lots of the stuff is that you wanna do and even if you know where they are, getting to them - through the crowds and broken/switched off lifts and general distractions and blockages - is bloody tough; too much choice and fun looking things that you know you don't have time for; necessary to engage with to get connected and make the most of the opportunity you've been presented with but still a lot of effort and doesn't really feel worth it at the time.
Yes. That is today's analogy. I wish I could stay in bed and watch box-sets every day but it turns out there is a lot going on. I'm trying to slow down - I don't want to burn out before I've even completed my recovery from last time.
Perhaps as I begin the rest of my life, like with actual university, I'll get to repeat my first year. Then take a break part way... scrape through to the end with an ok but not very good result... and curl up in a ball and die, wishing I'd made wiser choices with how to get the most out of my time there.
That doesn't actually sound like much fun. But I forgot to borrow season 1 (new) Doctor Who off of Luke so it seems my only plan thus far.
Sigh. I think I need a holiday.
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