No Pain, No Gain

I just finished the 10k run in 1:09:08 and a wheelchair. I didn't stop running, I sang most of the way round, and all the time my ankle got worse and worse and worse. But until I crossed the finish line I was upright and smiling.

Soon after I was curled up on the floor cry my eyes out at the physical and emotional climax. It has been one hell of a week and, this done, all I have to look forward to is my French exam tomorrow morning...

You know what though, it's OK to cry.

The point of 'love running' is three-fold but always centred around love. Personal loving in an emotional/physical/spiritual way; community loving as we do it corporately, supporting each other and enjoy fun events together too; loving the world as we raise money for orphans (link), prostitutes (link) and the bereaved (link). When I was training the personal stuff was so true. In the release of the run I very often found myself thinking things through, realising stuff about me and/or God, finding more personal freedom. Physically too I am getting my fitness and figure back and that is quite welcome! In the pain of the training there was so much love and healing going on.

Yeah. There is healing in the pain... and that has been the main truth of this week for me and those around me. It feels like, through all the turmoil, wounds are being reopened and this time they are being closed neatly. It is like a broken bone that fused badly so the doctor has to re-break it. Then reset it. Hearts are being rebroken in my city... and then they will be made whole... and we need our hearts to be able to love.

I go to speech therapy because I've got nodules on my voice box. Me and my therapist tend to spend the whole time laughing and laughing and the best thing about it is - as she told me to my delight a few weeks ago - the way the larynx tilts in laughter releases the bad tension and brings healing. Healing in joy. This week was far more somber but you know what? I have never sung better. The larynx tilts the same way when you cry, don'tcha know, and I'd been doing that all morning. Pretty neat since I'd decided the day before that I want to sing and make music for people to dance (link) to.

I, we, are going to get better and when we have recovered there will be much joy and music and dancing. But right now the healing is still taking place. Some of us may be spiritual orphans that don't really feel cherished or loved by others, or perhaps emotional prostitutes that have no love for themselves. Still more of us are bereaved. Loss of a loved one is hard, even more so when there is no closure (link). We need to be mended.

But there is utter hope in what will come and I really believe that hurting now can be a part of the brighter future I was talking about, back before all this stuff hit the fan. In über Christian language, and please keep an open mind, this is what I mean:

"Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honour." James 4:9-10

Now I don't think we suffer because we have "sinned". I think the world suffers because people have treated each other like crap. That is undeniable if you look at the case of a hit-and-run child killer. It is this corporate attitude against life that affects the innocent bystander. God does not dish out bad things, people do. But yet, in the humbling that comes when we are lying on the ground with snot running down our faces, there the hope lies:

"Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

Again. I don't at all think we who suffer now are the specifically "wicked" ones, though no-one can deny imperfection and lack of love to fellow man. I think that everywhere people are living their lives as selfish individuals that don't understand what community is about. When this happens love is lost. When this happens in the extreme life is snatched away. Snatched from happy families, addicted sex-workers and whole nations.

But the reason there is hope is that I believe God will come and heal this land: as people are sorry for their apathetic (or worse) attitude, try to put it right and then love each other as much as they do themselves. Like the 300 of us that took to the streets of Bristol today and have TOGETHER raised £55,000 and counting. I myself only raised £555 (and counting) of that. It's just better together, when we stop being inward and realise that people are supposed to be parts of a bigger organism. If you don't believe me then look at the maths that says we all do better when we are altruistic. (I'll tell you about that another time...).

And this healing, as the voice analogy clearly proves, is in the tears. Cathartic crying that washes away the dirt. I would bring up the suffering of Jesus and the freedom and cleansing that brings but I don't want my ideas to seem exclusive, as I think this is objectively true about the world with or without Christianity (I just happen to also think we need the God bit to put theory into practice).

I bought a new pair of shoes on Tuesday that gave me blisters when I first wore them. That hurt a lot but these shoes are amazingly beautiful, and I totally need new brown ones, and they say "sole reviver" on the bottom.

I reckon that once they are broken in I will be able to wear them anywhere - my soles revived, injected with life, loving freely. The same will be true for my soul... and these shoes are the kind I can dance in!

Yet I cannot dance, or even step, again today. But that's OK. I did 10k and then when I'd given all I could I sat down and took the weight off. I don't have to step out again until I am able... or a worthy enough cause motivates me. In the recovery time someone else pushed the wheelchair; when I had to hobble along I was supported by dear friends on both sides all the way to a taxi; then, because at the last minute I was prompted/remembered to grab a tenner and stick it in my bra "in case I want to catch a taxi to the finish line!", I was able to get home and, though physically alone, I felt that God was with me and providing my transport. I may not have been moving under my own volition but I was moving forward and that is yet further support for living dependent, overlapping lives. Being strong for each other, loving each other, adding value to life for each other. Not only does brokenness come from an individualistic attitude but wholeness of life doesn't seem possible without community.

My friend's blog Good Grief (link) that I talked about the other day starts on the premise that the more we love the more we suffer. I think I would also suggest that, conversely, the more we suffer the more we love. Again, I try not to dwell on the Jesus example but I do think that somehow, just as grief cuts us open to allow healing in, suffering for others in the name of love allows it in to them too... and the ultimate suffering of Christ for humanity would imply ultimate freedom for us all. In a finite, but still pretty cool way, £55,000 will save many many lives and help bring wholeness to yet more... and that's worth a lot more than a sore foot.

I end on a poem. OK, it's in the bible but this is after all my natural language and it is consistent with the analogies:

⁵ What joy for those whose strength comes from the Lord,
who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.
⁶ When they walk through the Valley of Weeping,
it will become a place of refreshing springs.
The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings.
⁷ They will continue to grow stronger,
and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem.
Psalm 84

See, it fits. The weeping, the rain, the pilgrimage (which I can only imagine was long and painful and tough on the ole' feet, particularly without a pair of modern supporting shoes). Yet somehow the tears are refreshing and blessing and strengthening for the journey. Appearing before God in Jerusalem - that's the analogy for fullness of life. There is joy right at the start because of the hope at the end. Hence, though pain is the route taken it does not remain the focus or theme, it is not the goal and, actually, it brings with it the necessary strength to arrive at the final destination.

The Princess Bride

I don't know if I am blogging too much at the moment but I am thinking a lot and it is sure a helpful way of processing. I realise that we all speak different languages and that I myself use evangelical Christian lingo loads (and still feel a bit wierd about it a lot of the time). I do try and interchange that to semi-explain but today I want to define stuff at the start so I don't have to keep caveating. One phrase I tend to use is 'fullness of life' because I think it is self-explanatory and we can all relate to it without the need for translation. It is a general notion that I have often mixed up with "The Kingdom of God" or "The Kingdom of Heaven" (same thing as each other) but this is actually a far more specific concept (it also means fullness but has a particular method for achievement) that I found myself referring to in part in my last post and which may well have been quite confusing for readers that aren't au fait with the details of my faith.

So let me elucidate through the medium of one of the greatest films ever made.

The theme of the church being the bride of Christ has come up a few times recently on AT! so when I decided to watch this film tonight I sort of had an inkling it might make an interesting analogy! Gosh, I know, contrived. Yet I have been really wanting to watch it again for ages now and kept looking out for it every time I go past DVDs for sale; then today a serious of uncoordinated events lead me to a friend's house who had watch it the day before and I realised that now was my chance! We used to watch it in DT at Christmas... who'd have thought I would see Jesus in it 11 years later...!

I don't want to ruin the plot, though really can anyone not have seen this legend of a film...? I suppose I can't assume. Like Jesus, some fools are still missing out :-P Jokes! Basically it a story with the central theme of True Love. Evil is personified incredibly well by the lying cowardly selfish prince and there is an initially-underdog hero with a hidden identity. A posy of inept but well-intending and diverse companions represent the church!

You may think that this film is about Jesus coming to earth, fighting for love and, given he dies and is resurrected at one point, we then see the Easter story. It could be about that I suppose but actually, as I eluded to before, this is not the complete story of Jesus according to the Christian faith.

You see, this hero actually dies twice in the story. At the start he leaves but promises to return for his true love, so when the news of his death arrives it destroys her ability to ever love again. Her life is in effect then sold to the evil prince and she doesn't know any kind of joy at all. Then he turns up again out of the blue, rescues her from the foolish yet deadly kidnappers (even though it was "inconceivable") and they are free to fight for her freedom (spot the paradox) from her betrothal to the head baddie. THIS is where "The Kingdom" is now. Post return from the dead by the unexpected saviour and love of her life, they are suddenly alive again together - him in body, her in heart - and ready to take the victory. The power of that love means that they will succeed. Yet they are not out of the danger zone and still have to get through the "fire swamp", be hunted down by the prince, and then, after a little bit of death, storm the palace, kill some major enemies and suffer much injury. Indeed, they are actually separated for a time during which she has seemingly returned to her fate and can only hope for him to once more come back for her.

While he is away is when he dies the second time. Except, actually, he doesn't die at all. Even when they go for the "miracle" the witchdoctor says he is only mostly dead and that is not what we believe about the cross At All. But it might be what we believe about Christianity at times.

You see, the Kingdom was established when he came back the first time. Back from the dead that is (we are talking about Jesus now by the way, not the farmboy-turned-fighter). That was when her heart was reawaken, that was when she (the princess bride - both her and the church) gained her faith in him so that, when she lost sight of him again, she knew it wasn't forever and believed in the return. He (Westley) said to her (Buttercup):

W: "Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while."

B: "I will never doubt again."

W: "There will never be a need."

Awwwwwww.

She did doubt mind. He came back at such a last minute, when she had (mistakenly) thought it was too late, that she was about to kill herself in despair. He would never have let her though.

We Christians often doubt, despite the reassurances that there is no need. We live with this love in our hearts but it can wane and when the evil baddies of the world are trying to woo us, whilst secretly plotting behind our backs to strangle us on our wedding night, it can feel a lot like that love isn't coming back. Sometimes we even entertain the idea of "marrying another" but this love, this perfect love, really cannot be tracked down by a thousand blood hounds or broken... no way no how (I can't remember the whole quote).

In the time they are reunited he rescues her from a pit. Soon after, when she is afraid and says "We'll never succeed. We may as well die here", he says "No, no. We have already succeeded." There is this whole time that goes by of knowing that love is alive and they are already victorious and then having to wait for it to arrive. That is what I meant yesterday when I said NOW and NOT YET. They have still got stuff to fight and, as I am all too aware, losses to bear, but the love is alive and in that there is all the potential for joy in the world and an ever increasing experience of it, as we become more and more full and free in life... closer and closer to him coming back and deafeating the enemy once and for all.

So that is what "The Kingdom" is. It is the living love in our hearts that is exploding outwards as we approach the day of completion. I do believe we have the Key to the Kingdom in our hands/hearts but I also believe that the King has not yet taken control. He was crowned on the cross, the coronation at the crucifixion, but he is waiting a while before he fully takes up the position. The wait seems so painful but He does it out of love because if there was no wait we'd have no chance to choose Him. He leaves the gates open to let people in but as long as they are open bad stuff can get in too... That's why it is another both/and situation and so confusing and also frustrating at times. It - that is the love, the Kingdom - becomes more pervasive though, I think it advances as the plot climaxes. This happens as the unlikely but lovable drunk, socially rejected, foolish, bitter companions come alongside the now unmasked hero, who they realise they both need and love, and unite together with him even though they tried to kill him near the start. They really hope and do their best, he is brilliant, the princess marries her saviour and their love is finally made complete. The couple have the most passionate, the most pure kiss since kissing was invented and then they ride off into the distance on white horses, to the Happy Ever After.

All this and narrated by Columbo too. If heaven is half as good then you know it will be a pretty special place!

Joyce, Jesus and noughties Gospel music

A brilliant comment on my last entry compels me to respond:

"As far as living life in all its fullness goes, I'm leaving you some Joyce on Jesus: "He was a bachelor, and never lived with a woman. Surely living with a woman is one of the most difficult things a man has to do, and he never did it."

At first I just thought you'd think it was funny. I love how, even though he's (at most) half-serious, it tells you v little about Jesus but loads about Joyce's relationship with his own long-term partner: the implicit tolerance, sense of duty, and ultimately the love that makes you stick it out. That kind of intimacy is so crucial to being human, it seems like a life without it would have such a hole in it. Ah, I get the 'marriage is an analogy of Jesus and his Church' thing, but I bet Jesus never had to pick the Church's suspenders off the floor for the nth time in a row, and bite his lip to keep from saying anything, as if he did, it would deliberately flirt with St. Peter to try and piss him off. "

I couldn't fit what I had to say in a reply and so I post!

The analogies in play here are Jesus to humankind and how his marriage to the church (that is all Christians, not a pile of bricks) is actually an insufficient relationship experience.

The point is the necessity of intimacy for a fulfilled life.

When I make plans for my future, which I mostly do for fun given how often they seem to change, I keep one element open. Nothing I dream of requires or denies a partner and kids. This is so I don't get disappointed - but that is not sad like one friend thought I meant! Equal to growing old alone, if I makes plans that have me traveling the world on some crazy-cool lives-changing mission and then someone comes along and messes them up, I don't want to begrudge the brilliant low key local community life God may have planned for us. Whatever happens though, one thing I don't think is that I will need human intimacy to be complete.

Yet my reader is not wrong that we crave intimacy. Indeed, I think she may be spot on in identifying it as the crux of humanity.

Jesus is not just Becca's analogy, He is also God's analogy. God used Jesus to show us what humanity is supposed to look like. Does that mean God says we are all to be alone then? Not at all. A single ancient Jewish bloke in his early 30's (not least one that is so perfect!) isn't a very relatable character for many folk at all. The key is to pick up on the theme that the analogy is promoting (like my prophetic underwear - the theme is not that life is pants!). The theme of Jesus's life was His intimacy with God - sharing the same vision (of peace, love and joy) and staying in constant touch (through prayer that is). That is what we are supposed to get from the example.

Which makes sense because, as rightly observed, people crave intimacy. But maybe they got that from a desire to be closer to God that comes from when we hung out together in the garden? As also quite rightly observed, a lot of us do find this in human relationships... but people can totally let us down (which isn't a fulfilling feeling at all) and even if not, that description of compromise and tolerance of an other's flaws doesn't sound perfect to me. All the different relationships available to us are, in my mind, analogies to help understand God better. The marriage one demonstrates an intensity of love and an exclusive intimacy that we can't get elsewhere. Sex, well, that's a whole other post but I think it is a powerful example of that in action (literally), which is why we need to be careful how we use it. Don't get me started on the dangers of cultural sexulisation though...!

As for this notion of the church leaving it's suspenders on the floor - dirty laundry all over the shop. The appropriateness of that analogy saddens me: how right you are that we take the piss all the time out of our perfect "husband"; we aren't Jesus's fulfillment and all too readily we will flirt with St. Peter. When he walked the earth too Jesus didn't get the intimacy that he needed from his followers - Judas betraying him, Peter denied him, Thomas doubted him and absolutely no-one understood him. By the end of his life Jesus was entirely alone and then, on the cross, even God left him. At that point there was no fullness of life. Not because he wasn't married though, but because the intimacy he had with God that gave him wholeness was gone. Totally alone, the moment before he died, crying out that he had been forsaken by God.

Becca, you're not wrong that Jesus didn't have fullness of life... but it was not 'cause he wasn't married. He showed us it was possible, told us to believe in it, then experienced the absence of it at an intensity no man ever has. Totally void and alone, the pain of the crucifixion was far harsher even than the accumulation of his friends rejection, public taunts, hatred, injustice, scorn, whip lashings, sleep deprivation, cross dragging, thorn wearing, nail piercing, tendons tearing, nerves stabbing, giddy bloody and drawn-out suspension process. Jesus, on the inside, was dead to life in the holistic experience sense and it was because he didn't have intimacy.

For me this is both the how and the why I now want to live life in all it's fullness. I can because what Jesus did on the cross actually changes everything for ever, enabling freedom even when it seems impossible (I didn't mean to get this preachy already and that is yet another topic... but if anyone wants to know then ask, do do ask); I want to because, well, it would be both foolish and wrong to knock that back, given how much it costs and how freely it was given. Jesus suffered for the hope of future joy and right here right now is the future! The time for mourning is passed (he rose from the dead don'tcha know!) because death is dead, life is alive and he took the shackles off our feet so we could dance!

I appreciate that the bible telling you to always be joyful may not be relevant to everyone (though if the bible is relevant to you then harken at that) but an unrestricted life should be. The world is analogising it all the time - this freedom is in the smell of spring and the colour of a kitchen. The universe points out the true way to life and all I know that that it pointed me to Jesus. If you got a better way tell me, if you got a worse way look for a better one.

Freedom from death in every sense and perfect intimacy - is there anyone that doesn't want it this good? Perhaps you're stumped by "too good to be true"? I say it again: life only makes sense if it is alive and death surviving is an oxymoron. Truth is a part of this wonderful life and lies are what destroy so, actually, since the better something is the more "alive" it is, we can thus imply without contradiction the truer it is! Thus the most brilliant things are also the most true. ERGO: eternal (in both the time and quality sense) life right here right now just IS!

"Everything for ever, nothing never."

Blogging when you have nothing to blog about

This has got to be an analogy for something.

It's not that I haven't got any ideas. There are always ideas. I just haven't got any passion for them. I am tired and a little bit disgruntled by things not going exactly my way!

And so I blog.

But not in vain, oh no! This blog is the analogy for those things in life that are meaningless turd just filling in the gaps. I should be going to bed if nothing else but I blog... and I do it for you! So that in reading how irrelevantly dull this whole post is you will realise that you too waste precious moments of your life doing absolutely nothing.

Perhaps it's surfing the intra-web late at night (reading pointless blogs!); or checking facebook an unhealthy amount; perhaps it is thinking about dross when you should be doing your homework; or overanalysing things outside your control... it may be playing too many video games or watching too much tv (though I doubt it - is it just me or is television uncool these days? It's far too single service and dictated by someone else). This blog is a nothing blog and it represents nothingness and how bland and rubbish that is.

...

As I was finishing the last paragraph I got a phonecall from a friend who is at a Christian conference not 2 hours from my house where hundred and hundred of miraculous healings are happening on a daily basis. The kind like in bible times that is. Now, whether you believe it's possible or not, it is clearly more exciting than sitting around being apathetic and insipid. Not just more exciting, more purposeful. More alive. How much of a loser am I?!

So. What changes must I make so that I am not indulging in nothingness and what other options are out there? Granted, it may well be my maths homework... but it could be just about a million-and-one other things including but not limited to witnessing blind people see.

I'll let you know when I find something to blog about...!

DEATH

Today spoke to me of death. Many many times.

I've been thinking about this idea: life being made alive and death being put to dead. It makes sense to me - the full completion of each. It is strange that life would lead to death, is it not? Life is so, well, full of vitality. That's why I reckon resurrection is logical - where's the paradox in alive life? We don't start at death so why end on it...

When I talk of death I do so loosely.I mean those things that bring an end to life, growth, hope, joy, wholeness, love. If it's destroying the destruction of good things death doesn't really sound so bad; only when we apply it to life do we worry... because it goes against our most basic survival instincts.

I saw hope in alive life as death was put to death a couple of times today:

Outside my window there was a tree. This morning it looked something like this:

(Note the rainbow!)

Then, as I was getting ready to go to an exam (that marks the midpoint of my degree), it was suddenly being ravaged. I witnessed in awe as they climbed and chainsawed and pulled down this gigantic beast until it looked like this:


Then, when I came home a few hours later, all that was left was:

The stump comes out next week... (!)

And so the springyness of the blossom tree behind testifies to new life in the wake of the destroyed dominating giant. There will be so much more light, sunshine all summer long and a lawn to enjoy. Unkempt the tree was going to continue to expand - taking over everything. Oppressing, darkening and eventually destroying the foundations of homes as it cast a shadow over our lives. It is finished. Victory to the garden!


When I went down to have a closer inspection of the operation I also noticed this absolutely beautiful thing:


How fragile. How symbolic - perhaps it is another reminder of all the potential that spring holds...?!

I went to take the exam with a whole load of God given peace which was nice. He was putting to death all these constricting things and I knew that freedom in my heart :-) Anything was possible.

I almost completely failed. I actually may have.

Yet even now ('cause I think it may be permanent) I have accepted it with (and I do believe this is actual) Joy! Once upon a time I wanted to assert everything I was by this qualification and now I Know categorically that I cannot get a brilliant grade. I may not even get a good grade... but it is really and truly OK and, well, it sure takes the pressure off the next month! On my way home, as I mused upon these things, I saw this on the pavement and had to take a picture on my phone (despite looking quite mental):

How sad. How poignant. How definitely an analogy! I asked God what He was saying and I think that perhaps this is it: Associating everything that comes in spring (nay in life) as a good thing because it is beautiful is not always wise. Bees are dangerous (hence the colouring) and very very vulnerable. They only sting you once and then die. You can't depend on a bee.

You can't depend on a degree either. They can be good but they are not secure. I think God put to death once and for all in me (in the sense that it is irreversible) the disproportional hope that I put on my name being written on a certificate vs my name being written in His book of life. In this I grieved the 1st (top mark given at British universities) and then found comfort in the truth that God is my first love and absolutely anyone can qualify for His letters after their name.


But death does still often follow from life. And this makes me angry. Angry in a way that stems from the illogic. The injustice. The fact that I think there should be no more death and my belief that there really can be.

My dog is dead.

This makes me very very sad. I do not use Wendy's name in vain when I analogise her passing.

I can't believe that precious bundle of love, life, joy, affection, energy, beauty, family, friend, comforter, companion, running buddy... it makes me cry just to write this.

Yet, and this is why I am so so gutted, she is the one that would seem (in real life as opposed to analogy land) to deserve it the most. For she was put down today for attacking my mum.

And she has always been a bit of an interesting character. It was probably a risk to keep her as long as we did (it would be 4 years this summer) as her temper would make her grumble and her irritable nature was not always predictable. If people admired her in street (and they would. Not only was she a darling but her stunted growth meant she looked like a perpetual puppy) we would warn them not to touch. We had a system at home - when in the bed do not touch! She would greet me every morning with so much love it was untrue but even I would get growled at for standing near her basket at night. She was a bit of an unstable bitch and I know that, in the end, she had to go.

But the thing that makes me so cross is this:

What was put to death today was not death but life. Life destroyed by a weakness that, in this instance, was a character flaw. But one that masked her true nature, not defined it. Stemmed from too much breeding and not enough discipline. It was like she had no choice.

Yet she had a choice. We all do. I don't mean choose Jesus (I do also mean choose Jesus!) I mean it for every situation every day. We don't have to decide to react in a way that brings death - with hate, negativity, apathy, misery, stagnation, brokenness, fear... When we choose death, death will have it's way in us and there will be no fullness of life. In the bigger picture I would talk about eternal life conquering separation from God (the giver of life). In the right here, right now, I talk about becoming Wendy. Letting the things that come easy to us be the things that become us.

If we exist in death we are dead already, dead whilst breathing, for where is life in allowing the dross to survive? What is good? My analogies don't say. I suppose we must decide that for ourselves (hint: bible!). The question is, are you living what you call life? And if not then are you on the way to execution?

The thing that makes me so frustrated is that sometime I wonder if people actually can choose life - 'cause if so then Why Don't They? In God I believe all things are possible, I really do. I just don't know that I believe in people. Or dogs. Can a leopard really change its spots?

When I lose all hope I remember that the Bible says it can. Actually, the Bible says it can't but that is in the Old Testament and the New one totally amends that by sending Jesus! Is Jesus a necessary condition to achieve that whole life? I think so but feel free to prove me wrong. Is Jesus sufficient...?

If we do claim full life in Christ, which He did promise us, then yes He is. But choosing Jesus isn't choosing a name, it is choosing a whole way of life. You know where to look - biblegateway has a ton of versions and they print them on paper too don'tcha know. It's not easy, I'm not saying it is. I'm saying we need to decide to be prepared to really change and then show this decision in our actions. Just adopting a title isn't enough.

So, Christian or not, an act of WILL must take place to LIVE. There is a very brilliant side to this whole "death begins now" thing which is that if we choose life today then "life begins now"! That wholeness of life we want, free from the crap. (For Jesus-people that means "eternal life begins now" which is just mental. It's why He said the Kingdom of Heaven is right here, right now and the reason healing and miracles are still viable options!! Scary stuff but that's what life is about to us.)

I don't see enough of this proper life (or the Kingdom) anywhere (myself included) and it is getting me fed up. Please please prove me wrong and choose to live the life that you were intended to. Leopards CAN change their spots, they just can.

Don't let Wendy die in vain.

"Let's start at the very beginning..."

The birth of a blog.

We begin on Easter day because this blog is the result of a lenten fast. I will tweak my layout, add some more details and who knows what else in due course... but today is about getting started and the title tells enough for now.

So for a first post we do, of course, have an Easter theme. I was thinking a few weeks ago about how many people call themselves Christians (I'm one of them by the way) and how this can mean a whole host of different things. For me the belief in and attempted following of Jesus Christ is a necessary element but this isn't true for everyone it seems. The next day I came across the music for a song that did quite a good job of expressing how I feel about the Christian life so I'll let the lyrics tell you what Christianity means to me:

Beneath the cross of Jesus
I find a place to stand,
And wonder at such mercy
That calls me as I am;
For hands that should discard me
Hold wounds which tell me, "Come."
Beneath the cross of Jesus
My unworthy soul is won.

Beneath the cross of Jesus
His family is my own—
Once strangers chasing selfish dreams,
Now one through grace alone.
How could I now dishonour
The ones that You have loved?
Beneath the cross of Jesus
See the children called by God.

Beneath the cross of Jesus—
The path before the crown—
We follow in His footsteps
Where promised hope is found.
How great the joy before us
To be His perfect bride;
Beneath the cross of Jesus
We will gladly live our lives.

It's by Keith and Kristyn Getty and you can listen to it here: http://www.gettydirect.com if you like.

So. Yeah. I've wanted to share that for a while and now I have a blog again I can!

Living gladly beneath the cross of Jesus. This is my analogy for Christianity and so for my life. Hence I post it first - because it comes first. The cross itself is a symbol for oh so many things, perhaps the most basic and powerful being death. There are many more but they are not for today.

For today, Easter, is about what comes next. After the cross. After death. The day of resurrection and rebirth. The day that means new life. And what better analogy for this blog is there?! A new blog that comes from the death of an old blog; which is in itself a metaphor for the beginning of a new chapter in life that follows from the end of the last; which has only been possible through the death of Jesus and His life changing resurrection power!

It seems to me that having the cross at the beginning - of this blog, this life, everything - is "a very good place to start".