Because it's too cool not to share

What's the deal with prime numbers? Did you know this about them:

http://www.futilitycloset.com/2009/09/11/the-ulam-spiral/

Cool, much?

In other random passing comments:

Shout out to a reader in Greece! Please reveal yourself, I've noticed you for a while and am feeling curious and friendly :-)

I've started Twittering. I'm not sure if I will keep it up but I'm called Basic Kate if you are interested and I am currently experimenting with only doing it in the 2nd person... because 3rd and 1st are so passé.

I have experienced many declaration of randomness and joy recently so am quietly optimistic about the future, in particular because:
a) I now have orange hair and everyone knows that the future's bright, the future's orange (link).
b) There are public pianos on the streets of Bristol, which means we can dance and generally feed love (with music).

I saw a hen party gather around one of the pianos, all dressed in their silly hats and looking chavy, and one of them started playing classical music really well. Expect the unexpected. She then played 'Winnie the Pooh', which I had watched repetitively for a week this summer whilst babysitting and it makes me think of blustery days, which makes me think of the winds of change...

There is hope yet. Summer sucked but this late bit of good weather is all about things coming right eventually. Just gotta wait it out.

Anyway. Just dropping by, got a lot to do, but I will be back I think... and perhaps one day soon I'll tell you a story about the future being bright and where the orange thing first came from (it wasn't really a mobile phone ad but a funny shaped carrot). It's quite an old anecdote, from before everything went bad. Perhaps bringing it back is exactly what we need for this new start. September always feels like a new start to me.

Lataz x

evangelism

I am defining the term "to evangelise" in the language of AT! I haven't had a major rant about language and how exciting it is yet but only because my head/schedule is too busy to go into all that. It's all inside waiting for the right time to burst forth.

I just took a French exam today see and next week I have one about creating different mathematical languages so these are pretty relevant examples, nay analogies, of saying the same thing through different expressions. It's an analogy for an analogy!

But I'm late it's tired and this post is not meant to be for anything apart from spreading good news. Hence being an evangel - the word was adopted by Christianity because we tell people the Good News (i.e. Gospel (link)) but linguistically it just means general good news (I think, that's what my inbuilt dictionary tells me anyway). So henceforth I'm taking it literally and going to use "evangelism" as a word to denote telling you about good things I've found.

And the good thing I'm going to tell you about today is this rather fabulous blog I just discovered through an online-community member (life's all about the organic networking) called Verbatim (link). Fabulous idea, brilliantly named creator. Gabriel Smy (I call him Gabe though and he's cool wid it) is the author and 'poetry formed from found text' is the concept. It's sort of like Analogise That! with the noticing stuff in the world to be something more than what it is but with a much more limited (or should I say honed) scope. Finding beauty in the mundane. It has an air of the ridiculous walking hand-in-hand with the sublime that I like. I think this one (link) rocks because it is about computer programming (language in it's most boring form :-P) and the idea of bringing beauty from that textbook is totally analogous to the incredibly beautiful things that programming (which can appear dry to those of us that can't grasp it) creates all the time. Which in inself is analagous to how we find beauty and truth in unexpected and seemingly mundane places, perhaps moreso when there are no trappings... and that brings me full circle to the idea of 'poetry from the ordinary' as both an actual thing and an analogy for life, Ulyssees and the set of numbers between 0 and 1.

If you aren't confused then my hat is way off (metaphorically speaking). I think I may be about to exlode with inexpressible and widely scattered synaptic spasms. The land of bedfordshire is most definitely calling...

Oh and one more thing: small point to BIG, yeah? good points to Good, life points to Fullness of Life, love points to True Love... There is a Reality that all the analogies are just expressing a bit of, showing one aspect of that Truth. A truth but not the whole truth. Well, when I say "evangelise" it's an analogy too. sharing about good news is like Sharing about Good News. Things with a capital letter are the destination to which the analogies all head, so when it's "Evangelism" it's not a simile anymore and you should Listen...! But that is a whole other post/thread/Analogy...

Synergy

The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

I talked the other day about how I think community is key to living a full life. As an aside, I have basically accepted that fullness of life is the whole point of this blog. Turns out, as I'm looking to read into stuff in the world, that the thing it is all saying is to be fulfilled/seek the Kingdom/imagine a brighter future/love/hope/live in light/know the orgasmic truth/[insert your preferred positive metaphor here]. More on that another time but in a nutshell: this blog is about what I think the world talks about which, in my opinion, is living life as it is supposed to be.

So, coming back to topic, community is key. We all have such diversity (as seen by the different languages we speak) and can offer brilliant perspectives on the different ways to understand this "wildest dreams" life. In that we can all come away more enlightened and having stretched and encouraged each other. So I want to make an effort to be an online community. And I want to be more about conversing than informing. Granted I have blogged incredibly intensively recently but I want to step back a little now life isn't quite as sudden and shocking.

So what I'm basically saying is please, let's be interactive. Also, please take note of my community, which you can find to the left hand side of the page. They are saying some pretty sweet things.

The first of which that I draw your attention to is something that made me cry with joy... and not just 'cause I'm in it. Becca talks about life through the medium of literature and is incredibly insightful:

Jusquauboutiste

I love the meaning of this word. Being the sort of person that goes right up to the end, no half-measures, doing it in full. Read the post - it's about being fed up of the turd and not giving up on seeking for it to be better. It's also about a lot more to be fair, all of which is her own (and partly James Joyce's) analogy for this complete existence that we seek. I can't do it justice but if you have the inclination to connect with the über intellect of this women then you will be entirely blessed. My first response was to change my facebook status to "Kat(i)e has pure love pulsing through her veins, heightening every sensation and driving her slightly insane". I adore it when life is so real in a good way that it aches pleasantly.

All are welcome and if you want to introduce yourself to the rest of us then know it will be delightedly received.

Love you guys.

No Pain, No Gain

I just finished the 10k run in 1:09:08 and a wheelchair. I didn't stop running, I sang most of the way round, and all the time my ankle got worse and worse and worse. But until I crossed the finish line I was upright and smiling.

Soon after I was curled up on the floor cry my eyes out at the physical and emotional climax. It has been one hell of a week and, this done, all I have to look forward to is my French exam tomorrow morning...

You know what though, it's OK to cry.

The point of 'love running' is three-fold but always centred around love. Personal loving in an emotional/physical/spiritual way; community loving as we do it corporately, supporting each other and enjoy fun events together too; loving the world as we raise money for orphans (link), prostitutes (link) and the bereaved (link). When I was training the personal stuff was so true. In the release of the run I very often found myself thinking things through, realising stuff about me and/or God, finding more personal freedom. Physically too I am getting my fitness and figure back and that is quite welcome! In the pain of the training there was so much love and healing going on.

Yeah. There is healing in the pain... and that has been the main truth of this week for me and those around me. It feels like, through all the turmoil, wounds are being reopened and this time they are being closed neatly. It is like a broken bone that fused badly so the doctor has to re-break it. Then reset it. Hearts are being rebroken in my city... and then they will be made whole... and we need our hearts to be able to love.

I go to speech therapy because I've got nodules on my voice box. Me and my therapist tend to spend the whole time laughing and laughing and the best thing about it is - as she told me to my delight a few weeks ago - the way the larynx tilts in laughter releases the bad tension and brings healing. Healing in joy. This week was far more somber but you know what? I have never sung better. The larynx tilts the same way when you cry, don'tcha know, and I'd been doing that all morning. Pretty neat since I'd decided the day before that I want to sing and make music for people to dance (link) to.

I, we, are going to get better and when we have recovered there will be much joy and music and dancing. But right now the healing is still taking place. Some of us may be spiritual orphans that don't really feel cherished or loved by others, or perhaps emotional prostitutes that have no love for themselves. Still more of us are bereaved. Loss of a loved one is hard, even more so when there is no closure (link). We need to be mended.

But there is utter hope in what will come and I really believe that hurting now can be a part of the brighter future I was talking about, back before all this stuff hit the fan. In über Christian language, and please keep an open mind, this is what I mean:

"Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honour." James 4:9-10

Now I don't think we suffer because we have "sinned". I think the world suffers because people have treated each other like crap. That is undeniable if you look at the case of a hit-and-run child killer. It is this corporate attitude against life that affects the innocent bystander. God does not dish out bad things, people do. But yet, in the humbling that comes when we are lying on the ground with snot running down our faces, there the hope lies:

"Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

Again. I don't at all think we who suffer now are the specifically "wicked" ones, though no-one can deny imperfection and lack of love to fellow man. I think that everywhere people are living their lives as selfish individuals that don't understand what community is about. When this happens love is lost. When this happens in the extreme life is snatched away. Snatched from happy families, addicted sex-workers and whole nations.

But the reason there is hope is that I believe God will come and heal this land: as people are sorry for their apathetic (or worse) attitude, try to put it right and then love each other as much as they do themselves. Like the 300 of us that took to the streets of Bristol today and have TOGETHER raised £55,000 and counting. I myself only raised £555 (and counting) of that. It's just better together, when we stop being inward and realise that people are supposed to be parts of a bigger organism. If you don't believe me then look at the maths that says we all do better when we are altruistic. (I'll tell you about that another time...).

And this healing, as the voice analogy clearly proves, is in the tears. Cathartic crying that washes away the dirt. I would bring up the suffering of Jesus and the freedom and cleansing that brings but I don't want my ideas to seem exclusive, as I think this is objectively true about the world with or without Christianity (I just happen to also think we need the God bit to put theory into practice).

I bought a new pair of shoes on Tuesday that gave me blisters when I first wore them. That hurt a lot but these shoes are amazingly beautiful, and I totally need new brown ones, and they say "sole reviver" on the bottom.

I reckon that once they are broken in I will be able to wear them anywhere - my soles revived, injected with life, loving freely. The same will be true for my soul... and these shoes are the kind I can dance in!

Yet I cannot dance, or even step, again today. But that's OK. I did 10k and then when I'd given all I could I sat down and took the weight off. I don't have to step out again until I am able... or a worthy enough cause motivates me. In the recovery time someone else pushed the wheelchair; when I had to hobble along I was supported by dear friends on both sides all the way to a taxi; then, because at the last minute I was prompted/remembered to grab a tenner and stick it in my bra "in case I want to catch a taxi to the finish line!", I was able to get home and, though physically alone, I felt that God was with me and providing my transport. I may not have been moving under my own volition but I was moving forward and that is yet further support for living dependent, overlapping lives. Being strong for each other, loving each other, adding value to life for each other. Not only does brokenness come from an individualistic attitude but wholeness of life doesn't seem possible without community.

My friend's blog Good Grief (link) that I talked about the other day starts on the premise that the more we love the more we suffer. I think I would also suggest that, conversely, the more we suffer the more we love. Again, I try not to dwell on the Jesus example but I do think that somehow, just as grief cuts us open to allow healing in, suffering for others in the name of love allows it in to them too... and the ultimate suffering of Christ for humanity would imply ultimate freedom for us all. In a finite, but still pretty cool way, £55,000 will save many many lives and help bring wholeness to yet more... and that's worth a lot more than a sore foot.

I end on a poem. OK, it's in the bible but this is after all my natural language and it is consistent with the analogies:

⁵ What joy for those whose strength comes from the Lord,
who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.
⁶ When they walk through the Valley of Weeping,
it will become a place of refreshing springs.
The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings.
⁷ They will continue to grow stronger,
and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem.
Psalm 84

See, it fits. The weeping, the rain, the pilgrimage (which I can only imagine was long and painful and tough on the ole' feet, particularly without a pair of modern supporting shoes). Yet somehow the tears are refreshing and blessing and strengthening for the journey. Appearing before God in Jerusalem - that's the analogy for fullness of life. There is joy right at the start because of the hope at the end. Hence, though pain is the route taken it does not remain the focus or theme, it is not the goal and, actually, it brings with it the necessary strength to arrive at the final destination.

Good Grief

Today has been the most painful day so far. God is really really good.

I have analogies to back this up but I also have a bed time to honour. So instead I will welcome the newest member of my online community and be really thankful for the fact that she too is joining in the fight against darkness.

This new blog, Good Grief (link), is my most recent analogy for the reality of hope (whilst also being a totally wonderful play on words). I don't think she will mind me explaining that the author is the same friend I mentioned yesterday as having just received an extra dose of tragedy to cope with.

Her attitude now is such a blessing to me, re-emphasising just when I really needed it that this hope is for everyone. Which is good since there isn't much point in being excited about it otherwise... This is what community is about - taking it in turns to support each other as we alternate between strong and weak.

I can't wait to read how someone else is approaching the question of light from their own perspective and language. I particularly like that it won't be a Christian blog actually... I think it'll be ace to see what universal truths are there under the semantics.